In my experience as a coach the number one stumbling-block of anyone seeking to move in the direction of their dreams is fear.
Fear of failure, or of not being good enough, resourceful enough, knowledgeable enough, qualified enough, and the list goes on.
These fears can almost paralyse a person to a standstill in their life, holding them captive in a pattern of ‘waiting’ or ‘stasis’ which is very difficult to move out of, and can erode at self-worth and confidence.
This is by far one of the most frequently asked questions that I am asked!
There are various schools of thought on the differences between the two, sometimes controversially so.
Having received training and worked with clients in both areas, below is my own personal definition on the differences:
Counselling: Good counselling is person centred. The counsellor holds space, and facilitates the client to move into their own understanding of their issue or difficulty so that healing can take place.
Coaching: The client is already at the point of being ready to internalise an issue or difficulty, and embrace change in their life. They are keen to move from A to B, but may have some obstacles and/or limiting beliefs that prevent them from doing so. A life coach will support, motivate, and guide the client to understand various points of tensions so that they can self-direct towards their new goal(s) and aspirations.
When choosing which kind of support is best for you, it is useful to consider where you are in terms of the spectrum of your own personal hero’s journey. Please see diagram below:
Sometimes we can see our choices in life as either good or bad, but in reality all situations are neutral until we give meaning to it ourselves through our thoughts, beliefs and feelings.
We only determine a decision as 'bad' when it feels out of alignment with our natural state, which is joy! But isn't that a fantastic thing at the end of the day? To know that we are out of alignment! So much growth in that.
Mindset and the way we perceive any challenges resulting from our decisions or actions is so important. It can be the difference between growing through our difficulties, or entering into a downward spiral of negative self talk instead.
There are no mistakes, just opportunities for growth. Or, as Thomas Edison so eloquently put it ~ "I haven't failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work".
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